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This may be the last remaining taboo in our supposedly colorblind society.A New York City woman — beautiful, educated, successful and single — accepted a challenge presented by an online dating service that aimed to fix her up with available men.We are the “bed wenches.” There is no equivalent insult for black men who marry white women, who did their share of abusing black male slaves, including having them lynched on the regular if a white woman claimed they so much as whistled at her.Let black men tell it, it was never the white woman’s fault.Reason #2: The whole, “slave master” guilt trip is applied almost exclusively to black women.Many of us have been vulnerable to the guilt-tripping about how us dating a white man is an insult to our ancestors, slave women who were chained to beds and raped.I’ve recently been following two stories on Madame Noire regarding black men and their dating choices. ’ ‘She’s only with you because of this.’ It’s sad because honestly if anybody knows me, all the girls I’ve dated, I’ve dated girls who’ve been as black as Akon and white as Casper. She could be blue, green or yellow and it would have been her.” [SOURCE]So here’s two very public examples of black men getting flack for dating light skinned women and non-black women. Black women also get the pushback when we date interracially, so isn’t it even? There are four key differences between black men getting criticism of their dating choices rather than the other way around. Patriarchy allows for men to date and marry anyone they want.
"There are a lot of incredible men out there, yes, you know you want a brother. Though I cringe to admit it now, I was excited by the possibility of a semester spent flirting with Swedes.Her presence, despite the poor video quality, commands the screen."And I kind of thought about, like, well why is that? The idea that we should travel abroad — particularly to Europe — to find love has a home in online discussion groups, travel websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, all of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to "swirl," i.e., date non-black men (the term is designed to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).And as I started talking to [women] it's like, they're only dating black guys. " she exclaims, pressing her hands to her chest, then throwing them out in a shrug. That's what's happening."She cites her research, 2008 census data that suggests that even if every black man chose to partner with a black woman, there would still be 1.5 million black women left mate-less."That's why I created Black Girl Though they vary in tone — some are celebratory, extolling the joys of finding "Swirling Success in Sweden" while others are bear hard-nosed messages like "The Dating Truth for Black Women: Go to Europe and Don't Look Back" — every site insists that black women in America are better off looking for love in another country.That’s because deadbeats, cheaters and manipulators only come in one color, right? The reality is that you’ll have to do much more than land a love interest with a different skin tone from yours to end destructive dating patterns.The answer to your romance problems isn’t crossing the color line but examining why you’re drawn to inappropriate partners.